My intent was not to justify, merely to express understanding of a common experience among men.
Common
human experience. Women get jealous too....and I don't think the root cause is any different than for men. I.e., insecurity.
Agreed. Boundaries must be set. As I've said before, Olli and Christian need to figure out what each want the other to respect in terms of such boundaries (which they BOTH haven't done yet, and, as such, such occurrences keep repeating themselves).
However, as you aptly point out, Rob is the determined type. As such, I don't think for people like Rob, boundaries make much of a difference. He'd have to be of the inclination to
want to respect the boundaries put forth......or be in a position of power imbalance where he's the one lacking. In his and Olli's dynamic, he holds the upper hand. And, he thus exploits it.
There's a discord in this above rationalization.
Protection is needed when there is a perceived or real (chance of a) threat.
A threat always undermines security. Thus, it goes hand in hand with........insecurity.
As, if you feel secure, it's because protection worked (after the fact). But, when you're
aiming for protection, you're
aiming for security (i.e., not yet achieved). When you're not yet secure, you're insecure. Dichotomize.
So, even if jealousy is wrapped in a pretty bow called "protection", the underlying motivation is still insecurity.
Conclusion ( ;D): Jealousy is
always associated with insecurity.
OH! Of course! Mea culpa.
Christian is very black and white with his morality, especially when he applies it to character evaluation.
If something is fake, his red flag goes up. So, for Christian, distaste of a person's character goes will LIKELY go hand in hand with mistrust. He even said in the vblog, "I just don't trust that Rob" (or something), the vblog where he's in his jeans jacket, and alone.
Dated: 29.01.2010.He said a few things:
- he doesn't trust this Rob guy
- he's last on Olli's priority list and Rob is first (inkling of his jealousy/petulant child that he gets like when Olli is not giving him his full attention)
- how truly "not okay" he was with Olli punking out of his dressage exam, and.....that he showed up to the thing with ROB.
(this is ALL before the party/Christian sees drugs being distributed for the first time, which is on
11.02.2010)
So, if we go by your justification, Christian's mistrust has no place, only his distaste, as drugs didn't even factor in at that point in the vblog entry. However, Christian does say he mistrusts Rob, and shows his budding jealousy towards "Rob", taking Olli('s attention) away.
So, distaste goes hand in hand with mistrust which goes hand in hand with his budding jealousy (which,I don't think Christian even recognizes at the first meeting of Rob)...it's all simmering in the sub-conscious, by Christian's actions and words.
As for Christian not freaking out like he did with Mark from the gym, clubbing night, for the dressage exam....I think it's supposed to show Christian's growth. That, although he may feel the same emotions, his handle on it and reaction to it, has matured from those early days. Which is a good thing. Character growth.
I think this cannot be compared as 1 to 1, as one episode builds on the other. The dressage exam was the first strike, so, got a free pass from Christian. The second time, when he was condescending towards Olli because of how "Rob looked at him"....it's added strike (building on the dressage exam) towards Rob (and by extension, Olli), by that point. Hence, different degree of manifestation as it's a build-up of frustration by that point. Not isolated events, but additive events.
Christian, I don't think, recognized his jealousy at that point, because as you said, there was nothing (yet) to be jealous of. So, I don't think it was full-blown jealousy, but as I originally said, "the seed was being planted". Something in Christian's radar was going *beep beep* even at that first meeting with Rob.
Distaste/Mistrust/threat, all confounded (yet, unable to be parsed) as this one gut reaction that didn't sit right at the pit of Christian's stomach, from the very beginning.....it wasn't yet concrete to Christian at that point, but, he had turned in that direction, ready to walk those steps, from that first encounter with Rob. His intuition was already telling him some things about Rob, even from the first meeting. And it wasn't merely "distaste".
Christian, half-way through, found Rebecca distasteful as a character (when he started working at the castle after his heart thingy), because he saw her as a spoilt brat....but it was a whole different vibe than Rob. There is more to the "distaste" with Rob (even from the first meeting) than simply
like with Rebecca. There was mistrust built in along with the distaste.
[/b][/quote]
Ha!
I think if we got to see Christian's face, it would add weight to
my case.
LOL. Yeah right.
What was it again ya said before? See no evil, hear no evil?
Christian, as I am sure you know, has faults rising out of his character flaws (a primary one being hot-headed jealousy) in this mess too. Like Olli.
Yeah, Olli will feel damned shamed when he realizes how right Christian was in this whole "drugs! I say, my good man, there's drugs underfoot!" debacle. I just hope Christian realizes his WRONG approach to tackling the drugs issues, what with allowing it to be side-tracked (and overshadowed) by his overwhelming jealousy, which had a huge hand in turning this issue into an mountain from a molehill.
I have faith that Christian will realize this, as he has exhibited humility in the past when he has been wrong. One of the things I admire about him. He can go from 0 to 60 in the blink of an eye, but, will also swallow his pride to admit his own short-comings, in the next turn. Or for the sake of the issue at hand. Humility is so much more admirable than stubborn pride.
But, what if his lack of confidence in his own self-worth is contingent on Olli? Such that, Olli's "demonstrated inability to implement boundaries in response to a threat and keep a firm grasp on his priorities" gets internalized by Christian as Olli CHOOSING not to do so, because [as perceived by Christian] he is not good enough (simple stable boy) for such efforts? It's not an either/or. It can very well be part of the same chain of reaction.
I'd consider it a slap in the face, and a very disrespectful comment from my significant other if he said the same bullshit Christian did, "how far were you prepared to go for that?"
To me, that'd be like my SO implying that I'm a whore/hooker.
Aw...hell no! Esp. given the fact that such comment is spurred from a brief interaction with "the other man", in a public place, with him shrugging dandruff off my shoulder to........
you going to whore yourself for this guy's good graces? Not mature, a huge over-reaction (which Christian later admitted the next day - ah! humility in Christian, how I love thee)....and a very low blow.
That kind of action on Olli's part would actually imply the very thing that Christian doesn't trust in Olli - and his flirtatious ways with customers.
It's circumventing guilt by letting the position be stated from the start. From Olli's point of view, there is no guilt to circumvent because he has done nothing wrong!
Olli has no need to introduce Christian as more than an employee to Weidner, as Weidner is inconsequential. It's only about business. Why should Weidner be privy to personal aspects of Olli's life? What has he done to gain that status?
It would speak more to Olli's guilt if he introduced Christian as a "boyfriend" than an "employee" because it would imply that Christian was right - that there's not mere "being friendly" with customers, but "flirtations with intent" from Olli's part.
It's like a mother leaving out a plate of cookies, and leaving the room, and when she returns the child immediately states, "I didn't eat a single cookie!"
It's the same thing, if Olli were to introduce Christian as his boyfriend rather than an employee, because it would mean that Olli was actually thinking Weidner to be a threat to their personal relationship and not merely about business...hence, needing to clarify to this
stranger, that Christian is his boyfriend, not just his employee.
Weidner is there for business, Olli thus rightly (professionally) separates business from pleasure, by letting Weidner get a glimpse into his business (like
X is my employee), not into his private life (
X is my boyfriend).
Christian didn't even give Olli the chance to stave off Weidner's advances, because he came in with guns blazing, and shoved the dude. A common occurance with Christian. Jealousy inevitably leads to men being shoved. Rick the Dick. Weidner the Weiner. Rob the Knob. (only one that lucked out was Timo the Tool)
This reaction from Christian was highly patronizing to Olli, and controlling too. Why couldn't he wait and see what Olli would do? Oh, that's right! Christian, when in jealousy mode, is only controlled by crazed emotions and not reason.
Unfortunately, we cannot comment if Olli would have been truly ineffective in stopping Weidner's advances, because Christian didn't give Olli (and the audience) that chance to see....what...Olli...the...ADULT....would....do, and whether he would have successfully stopped Weidner (which I believe he would have)!
Agreed.
Agreed.
Agreed.
And, Olli takes heed, because during the breakfast picnic/love schedule outing, Olli receives a call from Rob, and promptly ignores it. Much to Christian's pleasure.
Yeah, the Love Schedule was a band-aid solution to their problems.
Yes......AND......Christian's inability to talk calmly to his own boyfriend about his insecurities, rather than his new BFForeva!!! Rebecca, or, Elias.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Christian would have done well to not let the jealousy angle enter so early on and muddy up the communication lines between him and Olli, because it makes Olli exasperated and resistant to listen to Christian, this time around.
Same old tune, he has had to hear from Christian more than once, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy. And, once previously, this same jealousy affected his business (Weidner), which Olli probably fears is going to happen (again) with Rob. Christian's history is repeating itself, and this time, Olli is shielding himself by not caring about Christian's warnings when he sees that it's tied to jealousy. He's wary of Christian's jealousy because, in the past, especially in relation to his business, it had costly consequences. He has already paid the price once. Once bitten, twice shy. This creates a conflict as Olli would do well to heed Christian's warning this time....however........they are where they are at present: due to both of their character flaws. Olli's AND Christian's.
(+ = SL gets DRAMA!)
We can't ever know if it would make much of a difference, as Christian has already sunk that boat.
I remember Olli at the breakfast table asking Christian to stick around and have breakfast because he has exciting news to share.
And, Christian's sarcastic reply crushed Olli. So much so that Olli wondered out loud to Christian, "Aren't you happy for me?" to which Christian replied, "Isn't it enough that Rob is happy?"
^ that right there, Christian pushed Olli away, and highlighted in Olli's mind that Christian's irrational jealousy would even cloud Christian's support for Olli and NL ("it would bounce? Sure!", *snark*, "yeah, you have to go to YOUR BAR!" *petulant bitchiness*). (no drugs entered the picture at this point...however the jealousy of Christian was already creating acidic tension)
The "deceiver" comment from Olli was a play on Christian's words towards Rob......for which, Christian, naturally took the bait. "Aha! See! I told you so!" (enter smug gloating)
To which Olli had to clarify that he, Rob, "decieved" about him being gay (only).
Which if you look at it rationally, is a poor choice of word for Olli as telling Olli whether he (Rob) is gay, straight, or a purple chicken is irrelevant to their business association. It's not actually deceit. His sexual orientation has no bearing on their business association.
And, Christian has an issue with calling something evil before getting proof for it, which doesn't endear Olli to his case, and rightly makes Olli think that it's motivated by petty jealousy. Which, it was, at the beginning (Christian's petulant behaviour towards Rob, and hurtful shutting out of Olli, his dream of success for NL, even before the drugs angle was introduced).
And we will never know, because Christian's selfish jealousy already tainted the matter from the beginning.
Unfortunately, in human interaction, content does not only matter....context plays a part. Thus, jealousy sets the stage for a context which shrouds the content from being unbiasedly absorbed.
/phew...that was long ;D