CONTINUING FROM MY LAST WILD SPECULATION.
After Christian wakes up from the coma Olli stays besides him in the hospital for about a week. They seem to interact OK after having admitted both that they still love each other but do not go into ''deep waters'' just yet.
Christian is progressing rapidly and doctors say that he will need to follow a 3month medication period at home before he is 100% well. Charlie is adamant that Christian stays either with her or with Olli. Olli asks Christian on whether he wants to come back to the flatshare so he will look after him.Christian in the beginning is sceptical but then he agrees.
THE TALK-Christian and Olli are in the flatshare and its their first day back from the hospital and both are sitting in the sofa. One of the most heartbreaking conversations ever in VL history is about to take place
Olli: I cant believe you are back ,you are here and well....I am so happy you pulled through
Christian: (smiling) I couldnt have done it without you...
Olli: How could I be so blind,how could we both be blind. I almost loose you for good.I cant forgive my self
Christian: Come on...dont say that we are both here and well this is what counts..
Olli: And now what?
silence
Christian: I dont know Oliver (sigh)
Olli:Me neither...where do we go from here?What do we do?
Christian: what do YOU want?
Olli:(silence for a while) I know I missed you a lot,I know that I suffered when you where absent and I came to realize with your collapse that I would be half of a person without you.The thought of you dying is something that I can not handle...
Christian: Olli, each and every night that I was away from you the pain was excruciating. Even when I was fooling around with Theresa you were the only one I could think about....Sorry I brought this up.
Olli looks at him in the eyes
Olli: Christian,why did you have to be with Theresa
Christian takes a big breath and stands up.He seems tensed.He takes a few steps away and turns his head around
Christian: (sigh) Oh..Olli...you dont know how it is to be like me.You know when Coco first asked me why I didnt tell her that I was thinking of you back then I told her that I was confused long before.
Olli:what do you mean?
Christian turns around his head and looks straight at Olli
Christian: I could never admit that I was feeling attracted to men. It was always there you see but for years I was blocking it,ignoring it or did not give it much thought...But with you...It all came back and it confused me even more. It was so strong with you so real...Oliver I think that it has been the first time that I really fell in love with someone. Those girls in my past were nothing compared to what I felt for you...and through this realization I came to understand that I always preferred men to women.
Olli: You dont have to tell me this Christian I now believe you .
Christian : But I want to. You see you were the first man I fall in love with and in fact you were and are my only true love...
Oliver starts to shake and Christian sheds a tear...Christian's face speaks volumes about his strong emotions.
Olli: But... (and stands up to take a few steps towards Christian)
Christian raises his hand and stops Olli from finishing his sentence and with a strong voice says.
Christian: No...listen to me (almost shouting) After I lost you I felt that the only way to cope was by doing what I knew best before meeting you...That is to go back to a girl,any girl, a random girl. You see our break up took me years back.It made me feel weak and vulnerable AGAIN. I thought that if I could try to ''undo'' my love for a man...my TRUE love for you then I could numb the pain. I thought that If I could kill my feelings with superficial sex then I would forget the pain of loving a man.
Olli: I could have never thought that this is how you felt.I dont know what to say,apart from that I now realize that I should not push you with my insecurities over your sexuality.
Christian: But you see Oliver I WAS INSECURE about my sexuality always! The only time I could accept it and be my self was with you. After our break up I felt as If I am going back to the same insecure unhappy Christian...
Olli: Please,I can not take it...Dont speak like that for your self Christian...please dont
Olli takes another step closer to Christian,but Christian takes a step back
Christian: Oliver it is simple.Without you I am lost,I am nothing,I am no one . You gave meaning to my existence, you gave meaning to what I truly am.You let me realize who I am...
Olli: My love for you is unconditional Christian.I wish you had told me earlier how much our break up had affected you. You see I am also weak and insecure without you. When I felt I lost you over the sex issue with Jessica,you have seen how awkwardly I reacted. My insecurities emerged.All of them
Christian: I know Oliver. I am sorry that I never actually showed you the EXTENT of my deep love for you. I dont want you to hurt or be in pain bsc of me .I HATE IT.I TRULY HATE IT...
Olli: I cant believe how much we were fighting the past months....Why...my god why?
Oliver cries...
Christian: Shhsh...dont cry please...
Olli: But now I SEE, I UNDERSTAND....how could I miss it? How could we miss all of this?
Christian: Maybe it was meant to happen so I could FINALLY talk to you about the true extent of my deep love for you...
Olli: But....
Christian: No buts...Oliver women are not an issue for me.They never were an issue for the REAL Christian...and YOU helped me understand this through our strong love and relationship.
Oliver walks to the sink and pours some water on his face while he sighs...He is amazed by the revelations...
Christian walks towards the chest of draws and fetches their wedding album
Christian: You see this? This is who the REAL Christian is...this is what I really am and want from my life...I love you SO MUCH OLIVER....
Olli: AND I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE CHRISTIAN...
They run to each other's arms and give a really strong hug. They both cry.....
Moments later they are together in the sofa holding hands...
Christian: Do you believe we can survive ALL this? Do you believe that we can be again together?
Olli looks at him in the eyes
Olli: (emphasis) I am now more sure that ever that YES,we can pull through,we can be together NO MATTER WHAT...This is what I want.
Christian sheds a tear....and starts to cry...he is crying a lot and intensely
He utters:
Christian: This is what I also want. Please believe me,I want it more than anything in my life
Olli: I believe you....
Oliver holds Christian in his arms...they are back together...this time much stronger...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YXVMCHG-Nk&ob=av3e