sozment
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Post by sozment on Aug 8, 2008 9:58:34 GMT -5
Yay...I got Christian in a tub..and Olli can love on him or get hurt *sings that song.."bubbles tickle my nose..tickle my toes..Ok, that's not how it goes...darn it..I can't remember the words..Heh.... I may do angst..I like angst..maybe I'll combine the two..Christian dreaming and then the hateful Axel hurts my darling. Ooohhh...I'm excited to write.
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Post by synapticmisfire on Aug 8, 2008 18:20:29 GMT -5
Lolaruns - I'm totally up for it, but I don't have a livejournal account - want to save me the hassle of signing up for one and just give me a scene right here?
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lizg12
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 8, 2008 20:34:32 GMT -5
I just posted a fanfic on my livejournal - about the Mar 14/17 kiss. Be gentle, it's my first time
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sozment
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Forget regret or life is yours to miss
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Post by sozment on Aug 8, 2008 22:10:50 GMT -5
That was really really good. I've finished my fan fic for Lola's fest...I need to post it. I hope it's ok. And not too many mistakes.
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 9, 2008 3:42:15 GMT -5
I just posted a fanfic on my livejournal - about the Mar 14/17 kiss. Be gentle, it's my first time I loved it, lizg12. Do write more. ;D ;D A small request please. Would you all mind posting fan fic here on GoD? I'd much rather come to one place that has everything related to Chrolli. We're going to be severely deprived of Chrolli next week, and anything to compensate that is greatly appreciated.
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sozment
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Forget regret or life is yours to miss
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Post by sozment on Aug 9, 2008 6:38:50 GMT -5
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 9, 2008 7:19:24 GMT -5
B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L! I enjoyed the kissing at an angle. Was it the spiderman kiss? So, this is how the female mind works, eh? All that nipple business... ;D
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sozment
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Forget regret or life is yours to miss
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Post by sozment on Aug 9, 2008 7:35:19 GMT -5
*giggle* Yep..that's most likely female projection as I have really no idea if men love that or not. Some seem to..but who knows. LOL Yes, I was channeling the Spiderman kiss. You are right.
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Post by lolaruns on Aug 9, 2008 7:55:25 GMT -5
It does read a bit female, particularly the "quivering". When I started reading it I thought that if I didn't know who the story was about the first person narrator could have been a woman being worshipped by Olli just as well as a man. Not that there is anything wrong with it, I just thought that was interesting.
Ooops, sorry, I just realized that it previously wasn't possible to leave anonymous comments (comments without being a livejournal member). I changed the community settings and now you can reply even without being a member.
I'd still ask you to leave a comment there, without getting a livejournal, because I would really like to have it all in one place.
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 9, 2008 8:05:32 GMT -5
*giggle* Yep..that's most likely female projection as I have really no idea if men love that or not. Some seem to..but who knows. LOL Yes, I was channeling the Spiderman kiss. You are right. Oh, we men like that too. Especially the way you've described it. ;D My only worry is that it might taste a bit soapy. I believe some men get a real kick out of heavy-duty nipple play. I know some girls love it too. ... Coco bit her lips as Christian suckled on her nipple, the gentle nip, the sweet sensation as his tongue darted around it was driving her nuts. His fingers gently kneaded her breasts, the pressure slowly increasing... his stubble rubbed erotically against it; she could feel it in her inner most core. Damn the blasted man, he knew exactly which buttons to press, and he was jabbing all of them. He shifted his attention to its twin peak and continued the assault... OK, must stop writing, or I'll never get subs done!
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sozment
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Forget regret or life is yours to miss
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Post by sozment on Aug 9, 2008 8:33:56 GMT -5
I'll just have to write more and learn to write as a guy. This is new to me...I don't write fan fiction. And the novel I am writing is first person from a female prospective..so maybe that flowed into it. PLUS, I absolutely love Olli..so I'm sure that flowed into it. Heh! Maybe I should write something from Olli's viewpoint. LOL! And GTL...my goodness..you have the female perspective down pat. !!! ;D Write more...
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 9, 2008 9:05:46 GMT -5
I'll just have to write more and learn to write as a guy. This is new to me...I don't write fan fiction. And the novel I am writing is first person from a female prospective..so maybe that flowed into it. PLUS, I absolutely love Olli..so I'm sure that flowed into it. Heh! Maybe I should write something from Olli's viewpoint. LOL! And GTL...my goodness..you have the female perspective down pat. !!! ;D Write more... I wonder who GTL is... I enjoyed your first person perspective. We're all new to this; don't worry about mistakes. I'm new to this too, and it's very difficult writing it correctly. If critical comments are made about your work, take it positively. Learn from them. Don't be disheartened. I still have trouble writing in a relaxed style, and am trying to learn how to improve. And my comprehension of American colloquialism is also improving. Betty-byes Beddy-byes! I just read your other piece of work. You MUST post a link here, or have it published it at the very least. I devoured it immediately! More, more, more. I'm so bloody greedy.
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sozment
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Forget regret or life is yours to miss
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Post by sozment on Aug 9, 2008 9:24:18 GMT -5
That GTL was my "spidey" prospective on your name. hee.. And who said I wrote that other fan fic..I plead the fifth. And yes...PLEASE give me feedback. It's the only way to learn. And since I love to write, I need to learn. I just need to learn to think from the other persons viewpoint a bit more and not get lost in my "own" desires. Ha.. Now, my turn to tease you. "Betty Byes"... don't you mean "Beddy Byes" giggle....
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 9, 2008 10:00:47 GMT -5
That GTL was my "spidey" prospective on your name. hee.. And who said I wrote that other fan fic..I plead the fifth. And yes...PLEASE give me feedback. It's the only way to learn. And since I love to write, I need to learn. I just need to learn to think from the other persons viewpoint a bit more and not get lost in my "own" desires. Ha.. Now, my turn to tease you. "Betty Byes"... don't you mean "Beddy Byes" giggle.... Arrrgh! I meant to write beddy-byes. Thanks for spotting it. ;D Betty byes (LOL) What was I thinking of??? If you find any more good fan fic, please post a link here. I'd write more, but it's all about C's thick piece of equipment ramming hard, and it being shoved up here and there... I thought I'd spare you all the boring details.
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sozment
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Forget regret or life is yours to miss
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Post by sozment on Aug 9, 2008 10:06:49 GMT -5
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lizg12
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 9, 2008 10:12:45 GMT -5
I loved it, lizg12. Do write more. ;D ;D A small request please. Would you all mind posting fan fic here on GoD? Thanks and as requested - They were yelling at each other ".... why can't I get this kiss out of my mind?!!!!" The silence then was deafening, broken only by their ragged breathing. That kiss. Those eyes. He was so close... They moved at the same instant. He stopped at the last possible second. They stood there, foreheads pressed together. Christian's hands on Olli's neck. Speech was impossible. He felt the fingers on his neck tightening. To push him away? NO, please, no. To pull him closer? His lips parted slightly, wanting, waiting, so close.... please... He could smell the spicy tang of his cologne of the smooth warm skin. Halunke said to kiss the guy. KISS A GUY?!!? What the... yes That's all that exists. Just that little word and the sounds of breathing and his hands on him, keeping him close. Olli needed to feel more. He slid his hand down Christian's chest, feeling just a hint of the hard muscled chest through the soft fabric. Just as Olli reached his hips, Christian jumped back, breaking contact, separating them. Speech was impossible. Christian looked so startled, so confused, so lost. It's ok, I won't hurt you, it's ok, don't move away...Olli thought as he stared into those dark eyes. He brought his hand up and caressed Christian's face. The tension, the confusion, melted away at his touch. Christian reached for Olli's lips, rosy and swollen with desire. Gentle, caressing, deep kisses. yes They're the same height, lost in each other's eyes as Christian slowly unzips Olli's jacket. He pushes the fabric away and strokes the muscled skin, his fingers tingling from the contact. Afterwards, lying in bed, Olli a warm comforting weight on his chest and belly, he feels the gentle caress of each breath Olli takes. Stroking the soft dark hair. "Shall I fetch us something to drink?" "No, thank you" is all he can force out. He wasn't entirely capable of coherent thought, or speech, just yet. Olli listens to the beat of Christian's heart for another minutes. Then he kisses the smooth flat belly and turns to face him. "Gast84, being with you felt wonderful" So much more to say, but he doesn't know the right words. Christian just looks at him, a small smile on his lips, thoughts spinning around his mind, unable to say anything. "Would you rather be alone?" Oh, god, those eyes, those beautiful dark eyes... Olli walks to the door, Christian unable to take his eyes off his bare muscled back. "Really wonderful" And the door closes between them
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lizg12
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 9, 2008 10:37:31 GMT -5
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Post by lolaruns on Aug 9, 2008 11:25:16 GMT -5
I think this would be really interesting to read. I'm looking forward to it! I very much agree, though I want to add the caveat that a lot of things are a matter of perspective. For example I can tell somebody very specifically what I liked or disliked about a fic, but stuff I don't care for might be absolutely perfect for the next person. And just because I can "hear" or not hear the characters in a specific story doesn't mean that it might not be just the opposite way for somebody else. (for example Torrid German Love's female perspective still sounded a bit male too me. A bit too... action-y if that makes any sense. press, jab, assault, all very active and aggressive words. There was a discussion on livejournal once where a fanfic writer talked about writing love scenes and how her rule is to always have one action sentence and then two description/context/physical or emotional reaction scenes and how she would get more feedback the more the ratio actually went up. And on the other side you have people who muchly prefer just "clean" action and little emotional context. I remember one discussion where a male author took a slash fanfiction story and picked it apart and pointed out all the things he would change and throw out to make it a better scene. And rather quickly people showed up and said "Dude, you are really nice, but you sort of threw out all the stuff we liked about it and that made it hot too us"; I'll see if I can find that discussion again) I generally tend to not like first person that much for example, but it's a personal preference. Here is an example for another first person Christian that while sappy/romantic too I found somewhat easier to "hear". Of course your mileage may vary a lot. I do think that the point of fanfiction is to truly put yourself into the shoes of another character and not let your own desires shine through too much. I mean, obviously they are still going to be in there, but you have to sell it to the viewer as it being truly the desires of the character rather than your own. I generally reccomend reading other fanfic to get a feel for what you like or don't like or what you consider good or not. I tend to go into fandoms and look at the stories that won awards or got reccomended a lot to find stories that will likely/hopefully be good. Found some of the livejournal discussions, though some have been deleted since then. But here are two authors talking about how they write romantic/physical scenes: The whole action vs. context ratio idea: cupidsbow.livejournal.com/194295.html?style=mineAnd another one: paceus.livejournal.com/44097.html?style=mineThat doesn't mean that these people have got it right, just that they spent some time to think about the subject matter. Good fic, very nice tension build up. That said, was it intentional that the first two sections (serparated by the "yes") are past tense, yet the third part is present tense?
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 9, 2008 11:56:24 GMT -5
;D ;D That was a bit of fun for Sozment, and wasn't meant to be part of fan fic. And Coco was rather horny! Or she wouldn't be with a boxer. I've written my first fan fic on page 3. Feel free to comment. I always welcome constructive criticism. Do bear in mind that it was my first attempt.
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sozment
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Post by sozment on Aug 9, 2008 12:17:09 GMT -5
I very much agree, though I want to add the caveat that a lot of things are a matter of perspective. For example I can tell somebody very specifically what I liked or disliked about a fic, but stuff I don't care for might be absolutely perfect for the next person. And just because I can "hear" or not hear the characters in a specific story doesn't mean that it might not be just the opposite way for somebody else. (for example Torrid German Love's female perspective still sounded a bit male too me. A bit too... action-y if that makes any sense. press, jab, assault, all very active and aggressive words. There was a discussion on livejournal once where a fanfic writer talked about writing love scenes and how her rule is to always have one action sentence and then two description/context/physical or emotional reaction scenes and how she would get more feedback the more the ratio actually went up. And on the other side you have people who muchly prefer just "clean" action and little emotional context. I remember one discussion where a male author took a slash fanfiction story and picked it apart and pointed out all the things he would change and throw out to make it a better scene. And rather quickly people showed up and said "Dude, you are really nice, but you sort of threw out all the stuff we liked about it and that made it hot too us"; I'll see if I can find that discussion again) I would like to read this discussion. Thank you for looking for it. I personally prefer an emotional buildup leading to a hot sex scene. Don't get me wrong..I'm all for the hot sex scene, I just like the emotional in there with it. Sometimes when I read some of the Torchwood fic, I lose the desire fast when immediately it becomes all sex for Janto, but I understand that some readers like that. So, yes, I can see the preference coming into play. I generally tend to not like first person that much for example, but it's a personal preference. Here is an example for another first person Christian that while sappy/romantic too I found somewhat easier to "hear" I read that and responded to her story. I loved it and it was absolutely beautiful. Fan fiction is so new to me, but I am very willing to learn. I do think that the point of fanfiction is to truly put yourself into the shoes of another character and not let your own desires shine through too much. I mean, obviously they are still going to be in there, but you have to sell it to the viewer as it being truly the desires of the character rather than your own. LOL..yes, I definitely need to work on that..especially when it comes to Olli. I adore Christian but not in the same way as I do Olli. So, there might be hope for a fan fiction without my feelings coming into play. LOL Thank you for the links to the live journal discussions. I'm going to read them and see what I can learn from it. Then I want to try again with another story. Thank you so much for your advice.
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Post by lolaruns on Aug 9, 2008 12:38:43 GMT -5
I agree. One of my favorite X-Files stories is almost novel lenght and only has a single torrid kiss and it's still an amazingly hot and moving moment. Years later the author wrote a sequel where the characters actually had sex and I never really cared for it. There are authors who can do sex and passion well and who can sex without plot well, but still even the sex without plot stories work only for me if there is an emotional context, even if the context is just hinted at. Because of this I would actually be rather curious to see you try your hand at fic from Olli's perspective, his thoughts, his feelings, etc. Of course it's a mean perspective because it would probably hard to write a fic where Olli is gushing about his own looks and awesomeness. (though who knows, maybe Olli in front of the mirror, errr "appreciating" himself j/k) Though personally, I find it rather hard to picture a Christian who is too gushy. I do think that Christian really appreciates Olli and what Olli does, but I think Olli's acts like his loyalty and understanding count much more for Christian. Also, he is not a man of many words most of the time, so I find it hard to picture him as a man of many (detailed, gushy) thoughts either. Of course it's worse to me because as a German speaker I tend to "hear" the characters in German and it's not always easy to equate it with English. Yes, keep trying. I'm sure we all will love to keep reading. And again, don't listen to me too much. Don't let me steer you into a particular direction based on what I like. I don't really know anything about fic either and normally don't really have the best or even the most mass compatible taste in stories either
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 9, 2008 12:54:23 GMT -5
LolaRuns (do you prefer Lola or LolaRuns?), Could you please give me a link to the LJ site where you've posted your fan fic. I'm afraid I'm still new to this LJ site, and find it a bit confusing.
Thanks.
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Post by lolaruns on Aug 9, 2008 13:04:34 GMT -5
I'm not sure what you mean. I haven't posted any yet. I'm mostly an avid fanfic reader, not a writer. And when/if I write, I assure, it will be just as awful as any other or probably worse. I once read a writing advice thing about which clicheed words to avoid (basically, to feel, adverbs), all things that I use all the time. I read it, and went "Yepp, I bet when I were to write, I would make all the "typical mistakes" they were pointing out and I wouldn't even know how to get around it".
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 9, 2008 13:15:42 GMT -5
I'm not sure what you mean. I haven't posted any yet. I'm mostly an avid fanfic reader, not a writer. And when/if I write, I assure, it will be just as awful as any other or probably worse. I once read a writing advice thing about which clicheed words to avoid (basically, to feel, adverbs), all things that I use all the time. I read it, and went "Yepp, I bet when I were to write, I would make all the "typical mistakes" they were pointing out and I wouldn't even know how to get around it". Lola, We're all writing for the first time. All we care about is a good story. Forget what the others say one should and shouldn't. If we all follow their advice, we'd never write anything. Just write a story, anything (perhaps Gregor could become gay? He's wasted on Rebecca!) Please, please, don't give up on the idea of writing. I think you can write a fantastic story (you know more about VL than anyone I know!). Actually, now that I think of it, that's a good start. So Lola, you're going to write a story about Gregor's first gay experience. ;D ;D Oh God, how I've waited for this day. And give him a red shirt. I think B-Chick likes Gregor in a red shirt.
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Post by lolaruns on Aug 9, 2008 13:29:27 GMT -5
Naw, I have been in fandoms for a long time and I decided long ago for myself, I'm not not much of a creative person whether it is fic or art or whatever.
However, it was only fair that if I made a fic contest thingie that I would turn in myself too so I did and got somebody else to pick a scene for me. And by god I WILL deliver something even if it kills me ;D
Personally, I think reading these kind of advice things can be counter productive because you can make yourself crazy, BUT they can also be useful because: 1.) There are things that are just bad. Sorry. No way around it. Somethings just are bad writing, no matter how well meant they are. 2.) Sometimes it's very useful to read other people's stories and what people find wrong with them. It can teach you a lot about your own mistakes. You just look differently at your own fic and don't even notice the flaws. This one essay on filler words or on the most frequently mixed up words (waist/waste, taut/taunt) really was really enlightening. For example I'm the person who would always write "He felt a hand creep up his leg" rather than "A hand crept up his leg". When the article made a fairly good case of how filler words can really bog the fic down and how the direct sentence is often so much more clear and drives the action forward better. Sometimes these things can be a real eye opener and show you something that has always held you back in your writing.
(and again, I think the best lecture is still to do a lot of reading and learn what kind of reading styles you like. Those kind of essays might just help explain what it exactly is that makes you like a certain style or another)
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