Post by masonville on May 30, 2010 4:32:39 GMT -5
Thanks chrys for coming up with the list and spelling the names…I was going to go with “the old grey cop” and the “rotund female police chief”
Things are usually dead on the Sunday graveyard shift, so since I'm dying of boredom, here’s my take on who's / how they're dying on BOTINERAS
1. Tato – He’s dying to get laid and leak a sex tape...after the appropriate contracts have been drafted/signed so that he has the distribution rights, of course
2. Arregui – He’s dying for some more dialogue lines…but due to all the cigarettes, wine and pizza he’s consumed over the years he’s probably dying of an occult malignancy, hypertension and diabetes
3. Mia/Laura - She should be dying trapped inside the trunk of Nino's C200 Mercedes Benz <---who knew it had a trunk release
INSTEAD she’s dying to get out of those ass-kicking stiletto boots and have a quickie...with someone taller than Salgado...admittedly Chiqui isn't taller, but he's easier on the eyes
4. Salgado – He’s dying on the job… the die has been cast
5. Nino – Considering that the only thing more attached to his body than his ponytail and his cell phone is an alcoholic beverage, he’s dying for a drink
ALSO considering he's a lawyer, he's dying to screw as many people as possible (literally and figuratively)
The only thing more certain than death and taxes is that a lawyer will be involved somehow with both till the bitter end <---sure, Nino's going to hell but not for a long, loooooooong time
6. Flaco – He’s dying of mortification, a broken heart and a quirky wardrobe
7. Lalo – He’s dying to belong…although he says he’s dying to leave
8. Sofía – She has a bad dye job but she’s also dying of typecasting
9. Marga –Worse dye job / ?dyed wig and typecasting…but not the worst...
thanks to Lili, who isn’t on the list...probably because she got a reprieve for having the best poker face<---even the grim reaper envies that degree of rigor mortis
10. Comisaria Riganti – She's dying for a donut to buffer those two carbon fragments she's swilling from that snazzy flask...and from morbid obesity…as the police chief she's supposed to carry a lot of weight on her shoulders, but enough's enough...her BMI is approaching 45
11. Chiqui – I’m dying to understand a word that comes out of his mouth…seriously, the man takes mumbling to a whole new level…
But we come full circle, thanks to those powerful soccer pheromones, he’s dying to SCORE (on and off the field) again...and again
...AND considering he sports a perpetual bed head and five o'clock shadow, scoring goals and galpals might be his safest recourse, since he'd probably die if he "scored" (aka copped) a comb and razor
Things are usually dead on the Sunday graveyard shift, so since I'm dying of boredom, here’s my take on who's / how they're dying on BOTINERAS
1. Tato – He’s dying to get laid and leak a sex tape...after the appropriate contracts have been drafted/signed so that he has the distribution rights, of course
2. Arregui – He’s dying for some more dialogue lines…but due to all the cigarettes, wine and pizza he’s consumed over the years he’s probably dying of an occult malignancy, hypertension and diabetes
3. Mia/Laura - She should be dying trapped inside the trunk of Nino's C200 Mercedes Benz <---who knew it had a trunk release
INSTEAD she’s dying to get out of those ass-kicking stiletto boots and have a quickie...with someone taller than Salgado...admittedly Chiqui isn't taller, but he's easier on the eyes
4. Salgado – He’s dying on the job… the die has been cast
5. Nino – Considering that the only thing more attached to his body than his ponytail and his cell phone is an alcoholic beverage, he’s dying for a drink
ALSO considering he's a lawyer, he's dying to screw as many people as possible (literally and figuratively)
The only thing more certain than death and taxes is that a lawyer will be involved somehow with both till the bitter end <---sure, Nino's going to hell but not for a long, loooooooong time
6. Flaco – He’s dying of mortification, a broken heart and a quirky wardrobe
7. Lalo – He’s dying to belong…although he says he’s dying to leave
8. Sofía – She has a bad dye job but she’s also dying of typecasting
9. Marga –Worse dye job / ?dyed wig and typecasting…but not the worst...
thanks to Lili, who isn’t on the list...probably because she got a reprieve for having the best poker face<---even the grim reaper envies that degree of rigor mortis
10. Comisaria Riganti – She's dying for a donut to buffer those two carbon fragments she's swilling from that snazzy flask...and from morbid obesity…as the police chief she's supposed to carry a lot of weight on her shoulders, but enough's enough...her BMI is approaching 45
11. Chiqui – I’m dying to understand a word that comes out of his mouth…seriously, the man takes mumbling to a whole new level…
But we come full circle, thanks to those powerful soccer pheromones, he’s dying to SCORE (on and off the field) again...and again
...AND considering he sports a perpetual bed head and five o'clock shadow, scoring goals and galpals might be his safest recourse, since he'd probably die if he "scored" (aka copped) a comb and razor