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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 13, 2008 17:49:04 GMT -5
Lizg12, I absolutely adore your stories. All that technical writing being put to good use! I'm very impressed by your accurate depiction of Chrolli, and your fantastic writing style. If you promise to write more (i.e a lovely novel), we may be able to convince the mods to reserve a thread just for you (and anyone else who desires to write Chrolli novels). And the rest of us can write short stories and post comments in this thread. What do you think? I hope you really consider it. Your work's really good!
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lizg12
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 13, 2008 18:24:28 GMT -5
Lizg12, I absolutely adore your stories. All that technical writing being put to good use! I'm very impressed by your accurate depiction of Chrolli, and your fantastic writing style. If you promise to write more (i.e a lovely novel), we may be able to convince the mods to reserve a thread just for you (and anyone else who desires to write Chrolli novels). And the rest of us can write short stories and post comments in this thread. What do you think? I hope you really consider it. Your work's really good! Thank you! <Technical writing warning> - how long's a novel vs a short story?</technical writing warning> And I think my boss would probably prefer I spent more time doing tech writing instead of daydreaming of fanfic ;D:)
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lizg12
Junior Member
Posts: 522
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 14, 2008 18:15:26 GMT -5
(Seems like I can't stop... Is that a problem? ) The last thing he remembered clearly was lying on the floor of NoLimits with Axel's heavy boot planted firmly on his chest. Then the world exploded. Some time later - minutes, hours, or days, Olli had no idea - all that was left was his entire body pulsing in pain with each breath. Warm liquid was on his face, in his eyes, his mouth.... He heard Axel talking, something about a princess? Axel's face swam into view, Olli cringed at the sound of breaking glass, then the face was gone. Princess? Did Germany have a princess? There's a castle in Dusseldorf... Christian would know. Christian.... and everything faded into blackness. "Olli? Where are you? Olli?" He heard Christian calling him. "Christian, help me" he called out. He wasn't sure if he did or if it was just in his mind. He blinked as the lights came on, Christian's worried face coming into view. "From Axel, he...." was all Olli could force out. A white cloth appeared from nowhere, Christian's warm hand pressing against his face. He heard Christian's voice, then saw him leave. For seconds? Hours? Olli wasn't sure. And then he was back, and they were moving out the door. Olli didn't want to go anywhere, didn't want anything except to curl up against Christian and sleep until the pain went away. The doctor was talking, Olli trying to focus on the words, to form answers, but it was so hard. He wanted Christian. He wanted to be alone, away from this doctor, away from this sterile room. What had he done, or not done, that led to this? Olli followed the doctor out of the room. Christian was waiting for him. "Hold me. Don't touch me. Don't say anything. Help me," spiraled through Olli's mind. He heard the doctor and Christian talking. The words sliding by, it took too much effort to understand what was being said. ".... he should stay here.'' That he understood. Here?! No. "I want to go home," that he was able to force out. His mind was focused on going home, away from here. Christian, all he needed was Christian. The doctor was saying something about police. Olli shook his head no. He wasn't entirely sure what the question was, but he was pretty sure he hadn't talked to the police. The doctor was waiting for more. It was too much effort to make his brain and his mouth work together to form words. He looked at Christian desperately. Help me... Christian answered for him, "it was a boxing fan....." How did they get home? Olli couldn't remember. He was leaning on Christian as they slowly went up the stairs. Christian opened the door, Olli breathing a painful sigh of relief as he stepped through the door a few paces ahead of Christian. Judith and Gregor were there. "Olli!" "Oh my god, what..." "Christian, what's going on?!" Olli flinched visibly and stepped back against Christian's solid form, moving away from the words, the faces, the idea of having to say anything. "Later" was all Christian said, putting a protective arm around Olli and leading him to the bedroom. He was lying in bed, Christian handing him some pills and a glass of water. He swallowed them and, when Christian lay down next to him, settled in close to Christian's warmth. Christian's arms surrounded him, gently, tenderly, holding him. He heard Christian's heartbeat, felt the calming rhythm of his breathing. The fear and near panic that gripped him since he first saw Axel ebbed away. Safe. Finally, he was safe. He sighed, content in Christian's embrace, and fell into a deep sleep.
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lizg12
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 15, 2008 23:09:01 GMT -5
and of course, the Christian-centric version of yesterday's story -
The last thing I remember clearly is standing in the darkened doorway of NoLimits, callling his name.
"Olli? Where are you? Olli?" I heard a low moan from the other side of the bar. What the hell? I slapped on the lights and moved toward the sound. Olli! Lying there on the floor. Heart attack? He's had a heart attack ran through my mind as I reached out to him. But that makes no sense, he's barely 30, and healthy, and bleeding. Bleeding? What the--- "From Axel, he..." Olli whispered, blinking in the bright light. I grabbed a white towel lying on the bar and pressed it against his face, trying to stop the bleeding. "We've got to get you to a hospital." My mind is racing, but I can't think. I start to help him up and realize I'm not dressed. I raced upstairs to change and was pulling on a T-shirt as I ran back into NoLimits.
I paced the hospital hallway for, I don't know how long. I couldn't focus on my watch enough to figure out how long it's been since Leonard led Olli away. Leonard and Sarah. Sarah and Gregor. Gregor, I have to talk to Gregor, and tell him about Olli. Olli. He's hurt, and I'm pacing the floor. If I'd just kept my mouth shut at the boxing ring. Olli. I couldn't think of anything else, I was going crazy, thinking in circles. The door opened behind me and Leonard and Olli walked out. Olli has beautiful dark eyes, when we're close, I lose myself in those eyes. His eyes are dark now, but not like that. They're dark with pain and shock and fear. I make stupid jokes trying to take that darkness away. The jokes don't help.
I talked to Leonard. Would Olli be safer here? Lord knows he wasn't safe at NoLimits. "I want to go home" Olli says. It's the first thing I've heard him say since I found him lying on the floor. I can't refuse. We start to leave when Leonard stops us, asking again who hurt Olli. I look at Olli, waiting for him to answer. He just looks at me with a sort of panic that I'd never seen in him before. It scared me to death. "uh, it was a boxing fan...." I answer for him.
I help Olli up the stairs, the ride home already forgotten. I open the door and follow Olli inside. I swallow hard, hearing his painful breathing as he passes me. Judith and Gregor are there. "Olli!" "Oh my god, what..." "Christian, what's going on?!" Olli shrinks back against me. Olli's a bit thinner than I am, but still, he's not a small man. As I wrap an arm protectively around him, he seems frighteningly tiny. "Later" I tell them and guide Olli to our bedroom.
After Olli takes his pain pills, I set the water glass on the nightstand and lie down next to him. He moves closer, settling himself against me. I carefully bring my arms around him, wanting to hold him close, not wanting to hurt him. I feel his body relax as the medicine takes hold and he falls asleep in my arms.
I blink back the tears threatening to break through. I may not be able to keep Olli safe, but this - holding him, caring for him, loving him - this I can do.
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lizg12
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 16, 2008 1:40:29 GMT -5
For those of you who don't undertstand German, trust me, you really don't want to read this in English! Especially not as translated by babelfish.yahoo - one sentence got translated as "It is beautifully, answered olive well-behaved." You have talking edibles? ;D (2am I really need to go to sleep)
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 16, 2008 4:00:55 GMT -5
Lizg12, I absolutely adore your stories. All that technical writing being put to good use! I'm very impressed by your accurate depiction of Chrolli, and your fantastic writing style. If you promise to write more (i.e a lovely novel), we may be able to convince the mods to reserve a thread just for you (and anyone else who desires to write Chrolli novels). And the rest of us can write short stories and post comments in this thread. What do you think? I hope you really consider it. Your work's really good! Thank you! <Technical writing warning> - how long's a novel vs a short story?</technical writing warning> And I think my boss would probably prefer I spent more time doing tech writing instead of daydreaming of fanfic ;D:) I was thinking along the lines of 50 000 words or more. You think you'd be up for it? I'll ask GayTime about a thread just for you (and anyone else who'd wish to write a novel). I haven't read your story yet; I'm saving that for this evening, but I am quite excited! ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 16, 2008 4:09:05 GMT -5
For those of you who don't undertstand German, trust me, you really don't want to read this in English! Especially not as translated by babelfish.yahoo - one sentence got translated as "It is beautifully, answered olive well-behaved." You have talking edibles? ;D (2am I really need to go to sleep) ;D ;D ;D I did warn you all in advance that it is of the sickly-sweet variety!
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sozment
Junior Member
Forget regret or life is yours to miss
Posts: 648
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Post by sozment on Aug 16, 2008 8:01:50 GMT -5
LIz..(Hope you don't mind that I shortened your name..just call me Soz or Shirls)...I love your work as well. I read your "Christian's viewpoint, after the beating". It was so good. SO Much better than the one I wrote. Obviously, you are very very talented. Please write more, I would love to read it. When the show isn't on, it's nice to read the stories. And a BIG thank you to LolaRuns for holding the fan fic fest. I still have one to write, but I need some inspiration for it. It's from Olli's viewpoint and since I love Olli so much, it's a tough one for me. LOL (Like she said, I can't have him adoring himself..heee). Shoot..so what WILL I talk about??? I'll work on it today. I'm SO happy it's Sat and I'm not working!!!!
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lizg12
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 16, 2008 17:21:44 GMT -5
yeah, another daily story (I really need to get my pre-VL life back.... I think.) I was reading Ceares fanfic and comments and got this story - Christian walks into the hot steamy bathroom and realizes too late that Olli's in the shower. He freezes, mind blank, staring at Olli's bare torso. Olli feels a small movement of cool air, and sees a flash of green out of the corner of his eye. Christian? Why would he walk in now? This could be fun. Christian tries to breathe. The steam, it must be the steam, that's making it hard to breathe. Olli bites back a smile, and steps out of the shower, pretending not to see Christian. He reaches for a towel, "Oh, hi. I didn't know you were here". Slowly picks up a towel and turns to face Christian. Amused at how quickly Christian looks away. Christian's still trying to breathe, what the hell's wrong with him? He stammers out "I'm just looking for the deodorant." Olli watches him fumbling with the can. "That's the shaving cream." He slowly dries his hands, his arms, his chest, the towel swinging freely in front of him. Yes, this is definitely fun. Christian nearly drops the can in his hand and reaches blindly for another one. Man, it's hot in here, he thinks, watching a drop of water slide down the side of Olli's face. Olli wraps a towel around his waist, he's enjoying teasing Christian like this, but any longer and Christian may pass out from not breathing. Olli walks over to the sink, and stands next to Christian. Christian finally manages a deep breath, "I can invite Judith over for dinner tonight." His eyes tracing a line from Olli's neck down his back to the edge of towel. Olli reaches for the cologne, and splashes some into his hand, "sure, sounds good" and takes his time running the cologne over his chest, his face, down his arms. He can feel Christian's eyes on him. Olli walks out of the bathroom closing the door behind him. He breaks into a wide smile. Whether he admits it or not, Christian's interested. Christian stands in the bathroom alone, inhaling the scent of Olli's cologne. What just happened?
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lizg12
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 17, 2008 14:01:26 GMT -5
And I think my boss would probably prefer I spent more time doing tech writing instead of daydreaming of fanfic ;D:) I was thinking along the lines of 50 000 words or more. You think you'd be up for it? I'll ask GayTime about a thread just for you (and anyone else who'd wish to write a novel). um, well, no time limit right? Interesting idea. Scary part is that I'm mentally thinking how I'd do this... And considering how far behind I got at work this week, thinking fanfic REALLY needs to go on the back burner. OTOH, I've been telling myself that for days now... hasn't helped any. I think there's 3 stories actually...
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lizg12
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 17, 2008 14:09:55 GMT -5
LIz..(Hope you don't mind that I shortened your name..just call me Soz or Shirls).... no problem. It's just an online pseudonym anyway. Thanks, I wanted (needed ?) to get 'his' side of the story out there too, not just Olli's. Especially the differences at the end. Olli's feeling safe with Christian, while Christian is upset that he couldn't keep Olli safe. And? where's the story?
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Post by Torrid German Love on Aug 17, 2008 15:24:36 GMT -5
I was thinking along the lines of 50 000 words or more. You think you'd be up for it? I'll ask GayTime about a thread just for you (and anyone else who'd wish to write a novel). Take your time. There's absolutely no hurry. You could put up a chapter at a time. I still haven't read your story, but I shall get it done next week. Even if it means getting up an hour early just for that!
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lizg12
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Post by lizg12 on Aug 18, 2008 0:16:49 GMT -5
You know when Christian almost kisses a sleeping Olli - what if he did kiss him?
Christian walked into the kitchen for a drink before going out. A rustle behind him caught his attention. He turned and saw Olli sleeping on the sofa.
Christian stood over his sleeping roommate, the words of his recent online chat going through his mind. Kiss the guy, Halunke had written, then you'll know. Christian leaned down, close enough to feel small puffs of air when Olli exhaled He hesitated, was this really a good idea?
He gently pressed a kiss to Olli's lips. Tiny shocks of pleasure went through him.
Olli woke in surprise feeling warm lips against his own. Opening his eyes to see Christian over him was an even bigger surprise.
Olli reacted quickly, bringing a hand up behind Christian's head, and returning the unexpected kiss. They broke apart, Olli smiling at Christian, "come here" he murmured, shifting to make room on the sofa. Christian paused a minute before moving to his side.
Olli was on top of him, effectively pinning him to the sofa. Christian trusted that, if he struggled against the weight pressing him down, Olli would release him. Christian didn't struggle. He cupped Olli's head in his hands and pulled him down for a deep kiss.
Olli's fingers played with the top button of Christian's shirt. Olli lifted his head and watched Christian's face as he undid the button. Christian gave a small smile and nodded, a hint of uncertainty in his blue eyes.
Olli slowly undid each button, placing kisses on the muscled chest. A shudder rippled through Christian as Olli left a trail of moist warmth from his throat to his waist.
Olli shivered as Christian's hands raked through his hair and gripped his shoulders. With a feather light touch, Olli ran his fingers along Christian's waist, smiling as Christian moaned his name.
"Olli! OLLI! Wake up lazy head!" Christian's hands gripped his shoulders, shaking him awake.
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Post by iclickmyheels on Aug 18, 2008 0:38:17 GMT -5
omg guys. i wrote a fic! what? yes. my first fanfic EVER. i can hardly believe it. anyways i started writing something for the fic fest but i got bored with using a pre-existing scene so i decided to write something that i wished had happened instead. i think this takes place somewhere after Judith knows about the Ollian relationship but before Gregor knows.
i feel like Judith is always so...so...innocent? old-fashioned? chaste? don't get me wrong, i love her, but i thought she could use a little corrupting. so this fic stars the fabulous miss judith as: deer in headlights.
Also, this story could definately be embellished more in the future, but i felt like i should probably stick with something basic for my first time...i dont want to get in over my head!
i'm gonna post it as a seperate post on here. i dont have livejournal so if someone would be so kind as to post it on Seifen Slash that would be neato, i have no clue how to do stuff like that.
sooo here goes.. be gentle!
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Post by iclickmyheels on Aug 18, 2008 0:50:12 GMT -5
Title: Uhmmm... Rating: PG-13 probably? Pairing: Olli/Christian of course Language: English Warning: I used the word F**k Disclaimer: i made this all up in my fantastical brain. i dont own these characters blah blah blah Summary: Judith accidentally sees something she probably (maybe?) wishes she hadn't... ;D Judith was in the kitchen washing dishes when she heard them coming up the stairs – a low rumble like thunder in the distance – and she braced herself as her two roommates burst into the flat, a tornado of gym bags and towels and endorphins, laughing and horsing around. “I swear, that woman must have been 104 years old,” Olli laughed as he kicked off his sneakers and threw his bag down on the floor, “why else would she drive like that?” Christian knit his brow in mock-thoughtfulness and tossed his boxing gloves, and then himself, onto the couch. “Maybe she’s blind?” “Ha,” Olli grinned, as he walked towards the fridge, reaching out briefly as he passed to tousle Christian’s hair, “For her sake, I hope so.” Judith drained the sink and surveyed the living room from her position behind the counter. “You guys are making a mess”, she said sharply. “And good evening to you too, Judith,” Olli said sweetly, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. He took his place next to Judith behind the counter, unscrewed the cap and took a swig. Christian heard the slosh of liquid as the bottle was tipped and looked up, seemed to decide that he too was thirsty, and groaned dramatically as he pulled himself up from the couch and ambled lazily towards the counter. “Why are you so cranky?” He asked Judith, raising one eyebrow. “I’m not cranky!” she answered quickly, and then her tone softened slightly. “Well, maybe I am. Sorry. I’m just tired, I guess. It’s been a long day.” “You can say that again.” Christian’s words were directed at Judith, but his eyes were on Olli as he reached across the counter and grabbed the bottle, took a few gulps and then squirted a small stream of water through his front teeth onto Olli’s t-shirt. “Hey!” Olli shrieked as he jumped back, and Christian flashed a cheeky grin, then came around the counter, grabbed a handful of damp t-shirt, and pulled Olli towards him with a rakish smirk. “We’ll clean up our stuff later tonight Judith, I promise”, Olli said apologetically, gazing intently at Christian, who made a vague noise of agreement, but neither of them bothered to tear their eyes away from the other’s for even a moment. Judith sighed. She was used to the boy’s mating rituals by now – after all, they hadn’t been very good at keeping their relationship a secret even before Christian had admitted it to her, and now that the whole thing was out in the open in the flat-share, they had become downright bold. So here they were once again, the boys undressing each other with their eyes, and Judith standing close enough to smell the scent of soap from their post-workout showers. She was just about to excuse herself to bed when Christian pulled Olli out of the kitchen and down the hallway by his shirt. Judith paused just to kick a few things out of the way so she wouldn’t trip over them in the morning and flicked off the lights before following the guys down the hall. She could hear noises, groans and the like, emanating from Christian’s room as she approached, and felt her cheeks flush pink. As usual when she heard them having sex, she looked intently at her shoes and tried to think about anything other than what was actually going on in that room, until she heard a particularly loud intake of breath directly to her right, which sounded like it was in the hallway with her. She looked up, startled to realize that she could clearly see Olli’s form pressed up against the frosted glass of Christian’s bedroom door. His shirt was off and the outline of his back was sharply defined, and above that was a blur of dark hair. His arms were up, one hand braced against either side of the door frame, and Christian was nowhere to be seen, but he was obviously there if Olli’s stream of throaty moans and ‘Oh God’s were any indication. Judith froze, mouth slightly agape. She would have to be blind to not know exactly what was going on behind that door. …Then it was “Oh God, Christian.” and the shape of Olli’s torso was blurred as he arched his back and his hips thrust forward. Judith hardly breathed as she backed slowly up against the opposite wall. …And then “Ohhh Fuuuuck” and Olli’s hair moved like an oil slick behind the glass as his head dropped back and his hands dropped down to where Christian would be, and a loud groan hissed through gritted teeth as Olli came. Judith’s didn’t even notice that her heart was thudding like a piston in her chest. …And finally Judith heard Christian laugh and murmur, “Come here.” As Olli’s body slid down to meet Christian’s, his shifting weight caused the door to bang loudly within its frame, startling Judith into a sudden state of self-awareness. She didn’t know how long she’d been standing in the hall, but her muscles were tense and her body prickled with a sudden panicked heat. She frantically scanned the hallway with wide eyes, hoping against hope that Lydia hadn’t come home and caught her, and finding the coast clear, she bolted down the hall and into her bedroom as if she were being chased by the bulls of Pamplona, softly but swiftly shutting the door behind her.
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mgh48
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Posts: 368
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Post by mgh48 on Aug 18, 2008 8:17:32 GMT -5
Thanks, all. Some great writing, here! Typically, I shy away from fanfic because, well, as much as I know fans really try their best to 'get into the heads' of the characters, most often, they just can't. Nothing wrong with that, of course. How could they since they didn't create the characters. Another problem is dialog: it usually jars me out of immersion. Happy to say, what I'm reading here never suffers these tragic mistakes. Really great work! Who knows, I might try one myself one day. Geoff
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Post by lolaruns on Aug 18, 2008 8:31:08 GMT -5
I'd definitely be very curious and interested to see your take on them
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I ♥ Blaine
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....new kid. You'll fit right in!
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Post by I ♥ Blaine on Aug 19, 2008 9:33:53 GMT -5
ICLICKMYHEELS - Very very veeery good! I loved it.
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mgh48
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Post by mgh48 on Aug 19, 2008 10:22:04 GMT -5
Afternoon traffic in Düsseldorf was nearly enough to drive Christian crazy with impatience, but he only let a surly grimace show on his face when Olliver wasn't paying attention. He wasn't going to do anything to spoil the fun. It had taken so much time and effort to make this little excursion possible! Two weeks of non-stop study at the Uni and even more, though definitely of a different kind, at the boxing gym. His face nearly snarled when he thought about boxing and the gym, but he covered it quickly enough, he thought, by a needless horn-blow and shout at the driver ahead of them.
"What's wrong, then?", said Olli beside him. His keen eyes looked from Christian towards the auto creeping along right in front of them, and back again. His glance was discerning, missing nothing. But his laugh-filled expression never changed and Christian's irritation vanished when he saw it.
"If this idiot doesn't get out of my way, I'm running him off the road," he said, turning his head away from Olli's face towards the offensive, lemon-yellow sedan blocking the road before them. He scowled convincingly at the unknown, oblivious driver and hit the horn again.
He felt Olli's hand on his shoulder for a moment, just a quick, reassuring touch, at once tender, but strong. His rigid grip on the wheel relaxed at that touch.
Through untroubled laughter, Olliver smirked, "Yeah, and if you don't watch out, we'll have to buy Lydia a new car. Not that she would mind very much, I guess." His voice was thick with humor and Christian remembered the conversation with Lydia this morning as well and smiled at the memory. She had been only too happy to donate her vehicle for their weekend get-away and had even expressed a hope that something 'accidental' would rid her of 'that over-priced, gas-guzzling piece of junk'.
At last, the traffic jam unsnarled itself in the unknown distance by unseen means, the chaos and noise dispersing as quickly and mysteriously as it had begun. The way ahead, out of the city, was free and Christian moved the BMW with practiced ease on into the countryside. Ancient trees, autumn-kissed oaks and dull-green pines, made regimental play with the westering sun, flashing alternating light and shadow through the windows. Above, the cool, crisp sky was brushed by a steady wind that sent high, cumulous clouds running before it and ahead, along the very route Christian was taking. The way to the lake and, for a few days, away from everything and everyone, every problem and every headache---alone, except for Olliver.
It had taken all Christian's strength of will and body to keep it all going on track for this momentary respite from their complicated lives. Soon, very soon now, he would be able to let go his focus and really relax. He'd done his best to make it as painless as possible for Olli, taking on more and more of the vital chores as the weekend approached. So much so, that Olliver, himself, had become anxious and overly concerned about him. Christian frowned, recalling the argument they had had over it, just yesterday morning, gritting his teeth at himself as he felt a stab of guilt about it, again. As the sun set around them, the shadows of twilight seemed to fill the highway ahead with the same kind of gloomy remorse, mimicking his own regret.
Finally, he could withstand his own growing turmoil no longer. With determined nonchalance, he switched on the headlights and glanced at Olli. He had lapsed into contented silence, watching the scenery zooming by as they moved deeper into the woodlands. Now and again, Christian heard him sigh, an untroubled, neutral sigh and he felt another pang of guilt at the thought of disturbing him. Since the attack, the times he could recall Olliver so tranquil, so secure were rare and he wondered if he were being self-serving bringing up the argument again. But, he was fiercely certain he hadn't made it up to Olli properly. "Olli?", he said intentionally. Even he could tell his voice was full of purpose.
Olliver partially turned towards him, lolling on the car seat, completely reclined. In the faint light from the dash, and the occasional passing headlights, Christian could see nothing but affection and assurance shining from those eyes. He covered his own sudden welling-up of pure emotion at that expression by staring straight ahead, refusing to look. He knew he wouldn't be able to speak, otherwise.
"Hmm?", Olliver's voice came to him through the growing dark. Christian could barely hear it over the thrum of the motor. "What is it? You look worried."
Still, Christian saw that Olli had not moved, was still relaxed. Better get it over with, he thought, before we get to the cabin. He wanted nothing, nothing! to interfere with his intentions and though he knew Olliver was going to brush it off, he had already made-up his mind. "About yesterday...yesterday morning. I..uhh..." But Olli interrupted him, as he knew he would. He decided to let him, this time.
"Christian, man, I told you already: forget it. It was no big deal. I'm not made of glass, you know.", Olliver said with no hint of irritation, thankfully.
"Yes, I know. But, that's not the point. I was wrong, very wrong. To shout at you. I'm sorry.", he said and couldn't keep all of his emotion out of his voice, though he had tried desperately to do that. In the dark from the nearly empty highway, he felt his eyes water slightly and he had to blink to clear them. He was even more thankful for the night which concealed everything, nearly everything except what the BMW's harsh, chemical headlights revealed. "What kind of guy shouts at his lover like a stupid, insensitive jerk? Especially when you're still recovering..."
He cut himself off so quickly even he was stunned at the abruptness. Damn it!, he thought. We swore not to talk about that, to forget about it for the weekend.
Christian felt the quiet grow around him like a looming accusation, until Olliver finally spoke, "It's ok, man. I really mean that. I wouldn't have said that...I wouldn't say it now, if I didn't really mean it. You were just stressed-out, a little." Christian's explosive breath of self-recrimination, came as an interruption. Olliver's voice was smiling, "Ok, ok, you were way stressed, man. Whatever. It's over and done. I'm not thinking about it, don't want to think about it." Though it was full night, now, and very little could be seen and nothing smelt, still he looked round and sniffed as if taking in the scents. "It's so peaceful out here, isn't it? So free...", he said and his voice trailed off like a murmured chant.
But Christian was determined, "Don't change the subject, Olli, please. You never said you forgive me." There, he had said it though these words moved into dangerous territory. Well, not dangerous, exactly, but profound, nonetheless. He felt his heart telling him: not yet! Adrenaline made him squeeze the wheel as if he were trying to strangle it, trying to throttle the unspoken implications out of the plastic, itself, in lieu of his own throat.
And now, the silence between them became tight and impenetrable, with, felt Christian, unwanted undertones. Until Olliver spoke, "There's the turn off."
"Yeah", said Christian, seeing the sign. Deftly, mechanically, still churning with guilt and now sudden fear and excitement, he turned on to the country road which led down to the lake and the cabin and the beginning of it all.
to be continued...maybe
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sozment
Junior Member
Forget regret or life is yours to miss
Posts: 648
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Post by sozment on Aug 19, 2008 12:07:30 GMT -5
OMG..where you been hiding with this talent of yours? This is REALLY, I mean REALLY good!! I love your use of adjectives to describe the scenary. I feel like I'm in the car with the boys. like I'm on their journey. Please continue. Great job!!!
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mgh48
Junior Member
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Post by mgh48 on Aug 19, 2008 12:15:12 GMT -5
heh
Thanks, soz
Just wanted to show a scene of normalness (yeah, not a real word). I appreciate the compliments. Been writing one or another all my life, basically. Prefer writing poetry, lyrics---but now and again something hits me to write a story.
I'll try to continue. Maybe if I can catch up some sleep heh.
Geoff
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mgh48
Junior Member
Posts: 368
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Post by mgh48 on Aug 20, 2008 1:44:07 GMT -5
The old road was unpaved and rock-choked, the water-smoothed stones thicker than cobblestones in the dull, grey dirt. It looked quite dry to Christian, so he drove on, down the winding way with confidence. Only when there came a heavy rain would there be need for vigilance. Still, he drove slowly and precisely, taking time to calm down. Olli was already gathering up the few possessions he always carried with him, wherever he went: the folded wallet, the pewter anchor, his cell phone. Christian sighed, and felt his tension begin to subside. The gnawing anxiety, well, he'd deal with that later.
"Almost there! Are you going to stop at the Mill?", Olliver said through his boyish grin. He looked so handsome, so desirable at that moment, Christian couldn't help but smile in response. "Go ahead and stop, Christian. I need to pickup a few things." He began to peer into the gloom, watching for the narrow road to appear on the right that led to it.
"Yeah. I told them we'd check-in before going to the ..., before going on," Christian responded. He kept a smile plastered to his face, stoically ignoring another adrenaline pulse that nearly took his breath. I order you to be calm, he recited to himself. You're being ridiculous. There's nothing to be nervous about. Chill out! But it was no use. Finally, he decided to just focus on the darkling drive along the twisted, tree-lined road. Within moments, the side road appeared and his rebellious heart relented as he maneuvered the BMW thereon.
This road was actually paved, the only one on the campground. There was even an old, routinely neglected street light---though it was hung from a huge sycamore rather than the modern, steel pole one would expect. The pavement inclined ahead, turning this way and that up a domed, wooded hill and he followed the way slowly, with sheer determination. But it wasn't the effort which taxed his will, only his unrelenting anxiety about what lay ahead.
Finally, after what seemed hours, but of course only actually a few minutes, the old, quaint building emerged from the forest dark, lit-up like a fairy castle with open-flame torches and thick candles in the many windows.
"Ahh, just like I remember it. Wonderful.", said Olli. As Christian pulled into the tiny parking lot and brought the shuddering BMW to a grateful halt, he felt Oll's arms grab him in a strong hug. His scent filled his senses and, as always, he was conquered. The warmth between them was a benison for his chafed nerves and harried volition. Without thinking, he hugged Olli back, and just leaned against him for a few moments, re-gathering his spent vigor. "What a great idea, man. I think we both could use a little free-time. Just what we needed.", said Olli. He moved away and opened the door, quickly stepping out. "Come on, Christian. You need a break, too."
Christian watched him march inside, smiled briefly and climbed out after him. He caught up quickly, strode into the old-fashioned shop and looked around. There were a few other campers already shopping---no doubt stocking up for the few days that they, like he and Olliver, would spend here. There were may cabins spread across this old, wooded farm, Christian recalled, though they were set haphazardly far away from each other. Thus, creating a sense of privacy and remoteness, if not actual, he smirked to himself. And this old shop was the only one nearby carrying anything anyone could want for a weekend camp-out. An old couple owned and ran not only this supply-shop, but the entire campground. They were 'the Millers' and had been here forever, apparently.
Christian smiled to himself. He and Olli had come to call this little grocery, 'the Mill' whenever they reminisced about that first camping trip they'd had had, so long ago. Just because the owners were named, the Millers. Come to think of it, he'd never found out it's actual name. Right at this moment, however, he didn't care. He was just content to be out of the car and away from his chivying fears.
Christian saw old man Miller sitting off to the side, before a huge, archaic hearth, smoking a pipe as always. While Olli wandered here and there picking up who-knew-what, he decided on impulse, to greet the old-timer. He'd never really spoken to him before, on his last visit. Just let me sit down a few minutes, get it together, he was thinking as he did just that.
Across from him, Mr. Miller looked up briefly and nodded formally. The blue smoke from his old, carven pipe was sucked instantly into the flue, but the leathery smell of it was all around him, carried outwards by the welcoming warmth. Christian nodded back, in absolute silence. Hearing Olliver's voice in animated discussion with Mrs. Miller made him stare fondly at him for a moment. Bluntly, his attention snapped back to the old man and he realized that courtesy dictated a greeting.
"Good evening, Mr. Miller. I hope you and Mrs. Miller are doing well..", he muttered. It took more effort than he thought it would, being social. His mind was on Olliver and he couldn't shake away his endlessly spinning thoughts. He sighed with a throaty breath and scanned the ceiling for a relief which did not come. He shook his head at his own useless frustration.
Mr. Miller, moving with practiced grace, each gesture precise and deliberate, carefully tamped the consumed tobacco from his pipe on a brick above the crackling flames, never taking his vapid eyes off of Christian's face. The charred remnants cascaded, trailing dying sparks, into the fiercer hearth-fire and were disintegrated instantly. His hoarse, graveled voice drew Christian's eyes from the sight. "We're doing as best as can be, I expect. Unlike you, I shall venture to say." His white eyebrows arched knowingly as he continued, "You must tell me, young man, why is it each time I see you, you have the look of someone afflicted beyond mortal tolerance. Do not suppose that I am so old I cannot remember the unbridled passions of naive youth. But you seem troubled even more than is wont for someone with so few years behind him." His laughter came then, dry and rich with self-amusement.
Christian stiffened and spoke coldly, "Meaning no disrespect sir, but I have no idea what you're talking about..." He made it half-way out of the old, cushioned chair which had begun to ease him so well when the old man taciturnly waved him back. To his astonishment, he complied with the unspoken command.
"But I think you do. I think you are in love. And, absolutely terrified.", declared Mr. Miller.
Christian felt sure his involuntary gulp, his choked gasp was loud enough to be heard across the entire shop. All he could do was gape, his heart pounding, throbbing in his own ears. He had no idea what to say. He could not think or speak....
to be continued....
Geoff
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Post by timmiitippii on Aug 20, 2008 1:52:21 GMT -5
wow Geoff u write very well. Ur story is incredible. Funny enough i just literally finished reading part one 2 mins ago and was left wanting more xD so when i checked this page again and found that u just posted as well it was a wonderful surprise =D thanks again
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mgh48
Junior Member
Posts: 368
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Post by mgh48 on Aug 20, 2008 2:01:32 GMT -5
Hey, man!
Thanks! I'm surprised I'm actually having fun writing this! I really appreciate the compliments. I wrote the first part this morning---exhausted from work and personal issues. Afraid I channeled a bit of Donaldson in the first epi heh heh heh.
thanks indeed for the praise, it means a lot
Geoff
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mgh48
Junior Member
Posts: 368
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Post by mgh48 on Aug 20, 2008 2:19:29 GMT -5
Yikes!
Maybe I should be writing this in the fanfic novel post TGL has running. So sorry, Bchick---didn't notice it till too late. Been soooo tired lately.
Geoff
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